Saturday, August 23, 2025

Notes From Super Show 10 Day 1

Jadi hari Jumat kemarin tuh nonton konser live viewing Super Show 10 di CGV. Tadinya ga bakal nonton karena mau nonton in-person. Eh ga jadi nontonnya ga dapet tiket (dan sempet kena scam. Nangys.) Ya udah, menghibur hati, nonton di cinema aja.

Eh lalu ga boleh rekam-rekam. Kan jadi ga bisa pamer ðŸĪŠ anaknya memang sombong klo udah urusan fangirl, maunya pamer di medsos. Nyahahahahhah..

Terus gw mikir, notesnya diapain? Mau gw share ke medsos kok rasanya aneh. Yaudah mending ke blog aja. Tulisan panjang harusnya di blog yakan? Gw edit dulu kemarenan karena TYPO SEMUA. 😅 Maklum aja, ngetiknya buru-buru.

Baiklah, here are my notes from Super Show 10.

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Twins. Baju putih. JEONGSU bajunyaa cubit nih yaaa! ðŸĪðŸž micnya lucu bener yg kaya bando gitu warna-warni. Hee merah sih yaa, Teuk putih. Sudah kuduga. Yesung biru muda, tapi anting merah menyala. Monmaap Ye, terlalu warna-warni 😌
U. Kyu muncul! Kyu micnya biru tua apa ungu ya? Heechul dengan kipas bilunyaaa, gemes!
It's You. Heechul ganteng fisan.
Black suit. Aransemennya bagus. Kirain pas gelap ganti baju item. Siwon cape banget kasian, banjir keringet.
Mamacita.
VCR. Ih keren VCRnya. ðŸĨš
Superman. Baju hitam. Siwon Teuk bajunya transparan 🙄. Mulai ke extended stage.
Supergirl. Still in extended. Heechul ðŸŦ ðŸŦ ðŸŦ  balik ke main stage
Haircut. Heechul idol mode bahaya banget tolong.
Say less. Ini the whole performance kayanya didesain biar Heechul ga terlalu cape ya. Dia banyak ke belakang.
Ment. Teuk matanya udah merah berkaca2. Heechul juga ðŸĨš Siwon keringetan banget kacian. Meanwhile Heechul bahkan makeupnya belom luncur 😅
Delight. Ke extended.
VCR. Baju Siwon basah banget! Kerja keras sekali ya kamu. Ini VCR takenya 1 hari ya sama foto ya. Bajunya sama.
I know. Casual style. Floating X stage. Kereeenn. Teuk bajunya jaring2 terus crop top. Cape ah pak. Yesung di tengah, kiri Hyuk Wookie Teuk Hae, kanan heechul, shindong, kyu, siwon. Siwon auranya horang kaya banget hey. Micnya lucu biru terus ada namanya masing-masing. Mic biasa bukan clipon.
Our Love. SARANGHEYO KIM HEECHUL. Turun ke main.
No other. Blusukaaaann.. maauuuu!
From U. Masih blusukan, rusuuuhhh
Ment. Sibuk ngomongin baju masing2. Leeteuk bajunya dihujat.. hey ahjussi! 😂 Donghae pink.. SM cenah. Mic Heechul jatoh, rusak, ga bisa diem sih ðŸĪĢ bajunya teuk terus dihujat. Lalu dia bangga SEBEL 😭ðŸĪĢ
In My Dream. Duduk tengah stage.
Dorothy. Berdiri. Teuk lupa nyanyi. Kenapa sih ðŸĪĢ
VCR. Super animals.
Miracle. Pake kostum. Hee merak, teuk anak ayam, siwon unicorn, wook jerapah , shindong panda, hyuk kelinci, kyu pinguin, ye kucing, hae puppy.
Pajamas Party. Rusuh.
Me. Teukchul gemes di tengah.
Rokkugo. Biasa, rusuh, mencar2.
Laser show. Mendadak dugem. Pusing gw. Siwon nih pasti idenya. Ada super clap gtau lagu apa lagi. 🙂‍↔️🙂‍↕️
DNA. Pantesan versi dugem. Member masuk sambil lompat. Ciye keren. Baju item keren sih. Kaos gitu, td jadi daleman kostum jadi gampang ya. Kyu salah masuk pas nyanyi.
Rockstar.
A-Cha. Dikit doang. Terus keulang, salah ga?
VCR
Express mode. Jas item. Duh keren.
Mr. Simple. Kenapa siwon bingung, lupa koreo? 😅
Bonamana. Teuk di tengah panggung extended, terus buka jas. Panas pak?
Heechul on DRUM! Sorry sorry.
Don't don. Teuk buka kancing baju dibuka pas mau dance break. Ah mulai deh ðŸ˜Ī
VCR (i'm stuck with you)
Marry You. Jalan-jalan di stage. Teuk gemes banget dikuncir. Heechul bajunya biru MAAUUUUU. Tapi yg Teuk modelnya keren.
Ment. Kasian yesung, digangguin pas ment. Ada yang main salon2an. Toyor aja itu yg ganggu 😂 siwon ment pake english. Gemes. Teuk sama hyuk masih gbs diem main salon2an. Heechul sok2 pake bahasa cina. Terus komplen donghae posting2 foto, eh dasar dongek, heechul lg ngomong donghae ngerekam/foto. MARAHIN AJA, CHUL! ðŸĪĢ hyuk sok2an pake jepang. 
Happiness. Masih jalan2 di stage. Ini lucu klo tiba2 H.O.T. muncul ðŸĨš (lah aneh ðŸĪĢ)
Finale. Jalan2 di stage juga. Eunhyuk lupa nyanyi 😅😂 kyu juga. Kenapa kaliaaann 😄
Udahan. Cedih. Makin pengen nonton in person. 😭

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Gemes ga gemes ga? Norak sih gw. Maap ea. Pengalaman pertama. Eh dulu pas BTS di CGV pernah gini juga tapi ga kepikiran nulis-nulis. Padahal mayan ya jadi ada bukti memori tertulis. Karena klo cuma mengandalkan ingatan mah udah lah buyar.

Anyway, tadinya tuh gw mau mengamati pergerakan 83L. Supaya next klo mendadak dapet tiket tau harus liat kemana. Eh kameranya banyak nge-zoom banget. Mana pusing. Sebel lah gw sama kameramen. Minimal tuh ya pas mereka dancing di chorus dishoot dari jauh. Ini tetep zoom muka member. Pas mereka lanjalan pun tetep nge-zoom muka. Ya seneng sih, cuma gw pengen liat mereka keseluruhan ga muka doangan gitu lho.

Masih belajar mungkin ya kameramen SM ini. 🙄

Saturday, August 16, 2025

The Stages of Fangirling

Ada aja ide bahan blog akhir-akhir ini. Awalnya gara-gara scrolling twitter, nemu tweet tentang celeb crush. Terus gw runut ulang celeb crush gw, lah kok banyak juga ya ðŸĪĢ terus jadi baca postingan gw tentang Celebrity Crush, dan di sini celeb crush gw itu yang punya cerita khayalan sebelum tidur. Jadi klo si seleb ini ga dibikinin cerita halu, berarti ga masuk kriteria celebcrush. Okay, baik. Mari kita singkirkan yang ga gw bikin cerita halu alias fanfic.

Terus, gw mikir lagi, berarti stage ngefans paling tinggi buat gw itu adalah fanfic ya? Atau apa? Lanjut mikir tahap awalnya gimana? Abis itu apa? Yasudah, mari kita telusuri bersama-sama stages of fangirling ala gw...

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1. Awareness

Di tahap ini kita baru kenal sama selebnya (ciyee kenal 😄). Mungkin liat di drama, film, music video, or any media you've watched or just saw. "Ih, siapa nih? Ganteng banget." Gitu biasanya kesan pertamanya. 

Some of celebrities in this stages mostly actor jaman 90an kaya Devon Sawa and JTT. Atau klo Korean, pasti host/bintang tamu di variety show yang gw tonton kaya Running Man, Infinite Challenge, Produce 101, Weekly Idol, Hangout With Yoo dll. Ada penasaran dikit, tapi cuma pas di situ doang, udah.

2. Curiousity

Tahap ini mulai penasaran. Grup apa nih? Main film/drama apa aja nih? Muncul di show mana aja nih? Pokoknya dicari semua karya-karyanya.. ditontonin satu-satu, didengerin satu-satu kalau sempet.

Contohnya pas gw nonton Produce 101, ada yang namanya Yohan. Gw ikutin tuh perjalanannya sampe jadi X1 (yang kemudian bubar). Terus dia main drama gw tonton. Atau dulu pas nonton Running Man, nemu Kim Woo Bin dan Kim Young Kwang, gw tontonin tuh semua drama/film mereka. Atau lagi Kwanghee di Infinite Challenge. Gemez banget ini anak, jadi lah gw cari-cari varshow-nya dia. Banyak sih di tahap ini...tapi ya, yaudah… cuma sekadar nonton, ga sampe obsess.

3. Casual Fan

Mulai deh lagu-lagunya masuk playlist. Setiap ada drama/film baru gw tontonin, mereka ke variety show gw cari juga. Apapun lah. Bahkan mungkin mulai posting-posting… tapi masih kalem, sekedar apresiasi. Belum heboh beli merch dll.

Di tahap ini, mostly ya dari variety show yang gw tonton, terutama Running Man dan Infinite Challenge. Kaya gw ngefans banget sams chemistry Yoo Jaesuk dan Haha, jadilah gw tonton varshow yang ada mereka. Klo idol, mostly generasi 2 yang bolak balik di Running Man, kaya: 2PM dan CNBlue. Generasi 1 juga ada: Sechkies. Atau kalau ngomongin aktor 90-an, ada Hideaki Takizawa dan Takuya Kimura.

4. Enthusiast Fan (Silent Supporter)

I know every schedule they have. Kapan drama baru, kapan comeback, kapan tour. Mulai follow medsosnya, masuk fandomnya. Tapi nggak ribut. Cukup diam-diam memantau. Diam-diam posting, entah di akun medsos yang mana. Kadang hanya sekedar tulisan di notes, atau bahkan cuma donlot foto-fotonya dan disimpen di hape cuma karena ga mau woro-woro aja sih.

Klo ngomongin contoh.. Nicholas Saputra and Sheila On 7, mungkin? Oh atau ini... Jonas Brother, H.O.T., and  Bigbang ada di stage ini for years. Why? Simply because they didn't pass the next stage ðŸĪĢ 

5. Cocoklogi (The Filter)

Nah tahap ini mungkin ini cuma gw. Jadi sebelum gw emotionally invest, gw pasti cari tanggal lahir mereka. Their birth year, to be exact. If they pass this stage (artinya gap umurnya ga jauh-jauh amat), I’m ready to invest emotionally. Tahap ini penting, banyak yang ga lolos tahap ini.

But here’s the thing… one group is actually an anomaly: BTS. Well, just this once. The one and only time I broke my own rules. And in my defense, the oldest BTS member isn't a full decade older than me. 😌

Dan ada juga sih grup yang easily passed this stage.. they even go straight to the next two stages but I kept them hidden for years. Why? Well… just because.. (Read more about them here ðŸ˜‰)

6. Dedicated Fan

On this stage, I’m already emotionally attached to them. Like… I already gave my heart.  Klo ada good news, gue ikut bahagia. Klo ada yang ngata-ngatain, gue ikutan marah. Dan yang terpenting: udah nggak diem-diem lagi. Di tahap ini, seluruh sosial media gue mungkin sudah penuh dengan postingan tentang mereka. Bukan cuma sesekali atau occasionally, tapi rutin. Seluruh dunia harus tau klo gw ngefans sama mereka.

7. Delulu Fan

Almost the peak of my fangirling journey. But from here, it’s the point of no return. Most of the ones in Emotional Loyalty stage naturally drift here.

Well… welcome to my world of imagination, where everything is possible. Why? It's just been my thing since 1996. Maybe, just maybe, my teenage self never imagined that I could meet them. So yeah, I created the stories, my own world of imagination. Kebiasaan nulis fanfic malah keterusan sampai sekarang. Even after I've moved on from them, the stories stay.

8. Professional Fan (Investment Mode)

The ultimate stage. Not everyone from previous stage makes it here. And yes, I call it investment because you need money for this: buying albums/merch, attending concerts, watching their movies in the cinema, or even spending money just to take a delulu picture with them in a photo booth counts.

But, investment needs a profit, right? Well… all of that makes me happier than ever. That’s the profit, isn’t it? 😉

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So, that's it.. the Stages of Fangirling ala gw. Memang agak tydack biasa ya… but that's me, a fangirl since 1996. Dan sejak 1996 itu juga gw bikin fanfic pertama gw, didedikasikan untuk Nick and Tay. Later ya, I’ll show you my first ever fanfic, tapi yang sudah dibenerin dan diterjemahin ke English. Why? Karena versi original-nya in Bahasa Indonesia dan getek banget bahasanya, hahahaha… abege pisan lah! Malu sendiri gw bacanya.

Anyway, to end this… I know some, or even maybe most of you reading this, who didn’t know me back in school, might think I'm crazy for obsessing over some guy, or maybe say I'm 'lacking love' because I'm still fangirling at this age. Hey, listen, I've been doing this since 1996. So… am I crazy since 13 years old? Yeah, right...😏 

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Image generated by Gemini AI

It's safe to say that I'm obsessed. You should be paying rent inside my head. All the acronyms no one gets. And you don't even know my name. I'm a fan. [Fangirl - Cassidy-rae]

Sunday, June 01, 2025

Super Junior, Always There

Nowadays, whenever my feelings are all over the place, I open Spotify, play a Super Junior song, and just like that, my heart calms down. Yes, you read that right. Not BTS. Not even my first love, the Backstreet Boys. But somehow, it’s Super Junior who’s become my unexpected comfort zone. Even I’m surprised. 😅 

Super Junior was nothing new to me. Honestly, it’s kinda blurry how they really came into my life because it was a weird mix of love, hate, and… a little bit of karma. 😏

Back in 2010/2011, one of my friends was so into Super Junior. Like, every weekend when we went for karaoke, she would always sing “Sorry, Sorry.” Every. Single. Time. And me? Well… I didn’t exactly hate them, but I didn’t like seeing them either. They were so different from the Western boybands I grew up with. That South Korean boygroup had too much makeup, too much hair gel… just too much everything. And their songs? Ugh. No, thank you. Me and my other friends would mock that one friend for always singing Super Junior songs during karaoke. We even joked about banning Super Junior from our karaoke sessions.

But then, in 2012, I saw Heechul and Siwon on early episodes of Running Man. Their personalities caught my attention, but then it hit me.. weren’t they from Super Junior? And after that episode, a few other members popped up on Running Man as guests, and Siwon especially left a strong impression on me. I even gave their songs another chance, remembering how my friend and even my house helper were big fans. But nope… still not my cup of tea. I just couldn’t like their songs. At all.

So, at that point, my Super Junior experience was purely through variety shows. I fell for their variety-idol charm, especially Siwon (and later, Heechul).


Running Man episode 20. (Heechul was on 11:54)

Running Man episode 22. 

Then came another big chapter in my life. In late 2017, things started to feel overwhelming. Running Man could no longer fulfill my weekly dose of happiness. Even binge-watching Song Joong Ki dramas couldn't excite me anymore. So, I went hunting for something new, and that's when Super Junior crashed back into my life.

I happened to stumble upon an episode of Weekly Idol and Super Junior were the guests. Siwon wasn't there, but I recognized some of the other guys. And as I watched that one episode, I fell for their chaos. They were like… how do I even explain it? Like one of those wild, unruly high school classes. Even Great Teacher Onizuka would give up on.


Weekly Idol episode 328. 


And so, they began to fill my days through SJ Returns, Super TV, or even just popping up as guests on random South Korean variety shows I happened to watch. They wasn't exactly my daily dose of happiness, but it was enough to lift my mood when I needed it. But still, since I didn't really like their music back in 2012, I had no interest in giving it another try. Sorry. Really.

And then came late 2018, when I started getting into BTS. The first thing I noticed? They were waaay younger than me. In fact, my own nephews are just a year younger than their youngest member. Yeah, I thought, there’s no way I’m going to stan a group that could basically call me 'aunt'. That's when I started thinking about Super Junior again. So, I gave their music another shot, and that’s when I stumbled upon No Other. I fell in love with it from the very first note. That song instantly became one of the few K-pop tracks on my iPod.

No Other was on my iPod playlist in 2018.

From there, I started listening to more of their songs. And to my surprise, they had a lot of music I actually liked. One that really stood out was Superman. I remember listening to it for the first time and instantly thinking that this song would be incredible to see performed live. Just imagining the energy on stage gave me chills. That moment made me even more curious about how powerful their performances must be. I even planned to attend their concert in my country back in mid-2019... but sadly, I couldn’t get a ticket. Well, at least not the cheapest one. Still, I was all in and ready to give them my heart. I even had a bias already. (Well, take a wild guess. LOL.)

But around the same time, the universe seemed to have other plans. Every time I opened YouTube, it kept throwing random BTS funny clips from their variety show at me. I tried to resist, but before I knew it, I couldn’t stop watching. Within a few weeks, I had gone from curious viewer to full-on, die-hard ARMY.

Even so, during my baby ARMY phase, I still watched Super Junior’s variety shows and kept an eye out for any of their appearances. I even tuned in to their online concert during the pandemic. Their album Timeless, which came out around that time, became one of my favorites. They were still part of my life… just quietly, in the background.

And then in 2024, maybe their time finally came. They came to my country again in 2024. This time, I had to see them live. And guess what? I got the ticket. And that… changed everything. Literally everything.

Took a pic with "Siwon".

You know, imagine having a friend for years… and then one day, you suddenly realize you’ve been in love with them all along? That’s exactly what happened when I saw them on stage. That night, I finally realized what had been missing all this time.

And what happened after the concert was beyond my imagination. I couldn’t stop listening to their songs. Every time my bias went live on Instagram or YouTube, I had to watch. At first, I thought it was just post-concert depression. But it wasn’t. Because it keeps happening. Even now.

So yeah, Super Junior wasn’t something entirely new to me. They were always around, orbiting the edge of my life. But when life got tough, they came back. And this time, they stayed. They didn’t just entertain me. They comforted me. They became my safe space, my escape, my emotional support group wrapped in variety show madness.

So not just BTS. Not just the Backstreet Boys. But also Super Junior, the loud, hilarious, chaotic group I never expected to love this much. Somehow, all three became home to me in their own way. Different eras, different moods… but always there when I needed them most. And maybe that’s the truth of it all: it wasn’t me chasing them. It was them that quietly, patiently, and without me even realizing, pulling me in until I couldn’t pull away.

Now I get it. Why BTS could waltz into my life so easily, while Super Junior stayed in the background. At first, I didn't even like them, remember? Maybe deep down, I was low-key embarrassed that I ended up liking them after years of mocking my friend and swearing I hated their songs. But now? Pfft. Forget that. I’m all in, no shame.

That said, I still refuse to be an ELF, Ever Lasting Friends. Because if I'm an ELF, that means I've been officially friend-zoned by Super Junior. And sorry, but I’m not here to be just their buddy. IYKYK 😏

Anyway, let's save the talk about my bias for the next post. This one's already way longer than I intended. Guess I got a bit carried away. Too much drama, I know. Just like Super Junior themselves. LOL.

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Neo gateun saram ddo eobseo. Juwireul dulreobwado geujeo geureohdeon geol. Eodiseo chatni neogatchi joheun saram. Neogatchi joheun saram. Neogatchi joheun maeum. Neogatchi joheun seonmul. | There is no one else like you. Even if I look around, it's just like that. Where do I find a good person like you? A good person like you. A good heart like you. A good gift like you. [No Other - Super Junior]

Thursday, May 13, 2021

Love Bangtan 💜

This story is dedicated to a group of people that makes me fall in love again and again. Yes, it is Bangtan Sonyeondan or Bangtan Boys or just BTS.

So, how did it all begin?

So it was on May 2016, I was watching Running Man episode 300. A Monday ritual of mine since 2012. That episode had a bunch of guests, including this boyband called BTS. I knew that their leader, RM, had appeared on the show before with Super Junior Kyuhyun, somewhere in 2015. All I know that he was very smart, with an IQ 180. So back with Running Man episode 300. They didn't leave a big impression to me, I thought that they were just another boyband. But two things did stick in my head: the names, Jin and Jungkook. Why? Because Running already had Seokjin (the oldest member) and Jongkook (my favorite). I even joked to mysef that this boyband was just borrowing names from Running Man. A few episodes later, the Running Man members were still teasing about Seokjin was getting closer to Jin. So, for the next years, BTS was just "that boyband with familiar names." At least for me.

Then in May 2018, I saw Backstreet Boys posted a photo with BTS. They met at the American Music Awards (AMA), where BSB performed Don't Go Breaking My Heart while BTS performed Fake Love. I watched both performing that day, and honestly? BTS was mesmerizing!

Then things got messy. On Twitter, some BTS ARMY started attacking BSB fans because we also used the term ARMY for BSB fans. They said ARMY belongs to BTS fans only. EXCUSE ME? I believe some of them weren't even born when BSB debuted. I was furious. I swore I'd never become one of them. ðŸ™„

https://twitter.com/backstreetboys/status/997966339141586949?s=20

But life had other plans. In 2019, BSB and BTS met again at the Grammys. I tuned in for BSB only. But ended up seeing BTS presented Best R&B Album. I saw them on stage. RM spoke. Hey, his english was good, I thought. I was curious at that time and started to search about them on YouTube. Yeah, my source of information is YouTube. LOL. I saw their video performances and their speech on UN. RM's speech that time was very very inspiring. I wasn't a fan but I don't know why I was really proud of him. 

No matter who you are, where you're from, your skin color, your gender identity, just speak yourself. Find your name and find your voice by speaking yourself." - Kim Namjoon

A few months later, BTS were mentioned again on Running Man episode 447. This time, the members need to dance one of the BTS's song: Idol. The dance looked so hard. So I got curious and looked up for Idol on Youtube. Amd that was it. I just couldn't stop. Idol. Fire. Spring Day. Mikrokosmos. Their songs was suddenly on top my playlist. 

I just couldn't stop myself watch their random clips on YouTube. Then one day YouTube recommended Dionysus. That was my official point of no return. Their performance. The energy. The artistry. I was DONE. 

But still, I was in denial. I mean, how could I become a fan of group that 10 years younger than me? Well, age is important, isn't it? ðŸ˜‚ 

Then, I stumbled upon an episode of Run BTS. The universe must have known exactly how to make me fall hard for them. From one episode to the next, these guys captured my heart with their chaotic personalities, genuine humor, and the way they support each other. They weren’t just idols anymore; they felt like people I wanted to root for. 

My bias? LOL. Do you know how I picked Nick as my favorite? Well, it was because he seemed around my age. And that’s pretty much how I picked my BTS bias too. I looked up their birth years, and Jin, being the oldest, instantly became my bias. Yeah, just like that. 😂

It might have been the right decision. The more I watched Run BTS, BTS Episodes, and also Bon Voyage, the more I fell for this boy. His laugh, the way he talks, his little quirks… I just love everything about him. 

Then the pandemic came. BTS content filled my days like I was making up for all the time I hadn’t spent with them before. Suddenly, their music, videos, and shows were everywhere in my daily life, bringing comfort and joy when the world felt uncertain. I even watched their online concert. I was falling so hard. Really.

And just like how I collected BSB merch back in the day, I wanted to do the same with BTS. I started buying their albums and merch. As per now, I almost done collecting their albums. Just a few old albums left. Call me crazy, and yeah, maybe I am. (Edit in 2025. I’ve learned to contain myself now. Just buying an album, not the whole set. And only merch you can actually wear, not those ridiculous things you can’t even use.)

So yeah, And so, I entered the Magic Shop door and never returns. BTS came into my life unexpectedly. Like it was finally time for a new group to steal my heart. Maybe because they’re the first K-pop group I’ve truly stanned this hard, I became fascinated by everything. I fell in love with their stage performances. The energy, the synchronization, the passion. I adore their concepts; the team behind them must be geniuses. And the choreography? I still can’t get over how seven people can move in perfect harmony while still showing their unique styles.

But what struck me the most was how loved I felt as a fan. I’ve never experienced this before, but with BTS, I could actually feel their love in return. For the first time in all my years of fangirling, my feelings didn’t feel one-sided.

Someday, who knows, I might be waving my own amibam in a sea of purple ocean. Whether I ever get there or not, BTS already did their magic. They stole my heart, wrecked my bias list (more than once!), and made me feel seen. Not bad for a group I once thought was just another boyband. 😆

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Chuun gyeoul kkeuteul jina. Dasi bomnari ol ttaekkaji. Kkot piul ttaekkaji. Geugose jom deo. Meomulleojwo. Meomulleojwo. | After the cold winter ends. Until spring comes again. Until it blooms. Stay there a little longer, stay there a little longer. [Spring Day - BTS]


Sunday, May 19, 2019

BSB is in my DNA

Backstreet Boys are coming to Indonesia! O! M! G!

Yes, we're going to have the #DNAWorldTour here in Jakarta, Indonesia on Oct 26th. I got my ticket through the fan club pre-sale. And guess what, I got myself in the fan zone (DNA circle for the US/Europe show). I'm sooo excited! But after watching the first show, I'm worried if I'm going to see their back all the time and wanted to change the ticket to festival, which is in front of the stage so I could have the best view. But the more I watched the video, I think I'm gonna stick with what I have. From what I saw, fan zone/DNA Circle has the best experience ever. It has plenty of space so it's not crowded, and you can see them really close!

I can't wait to see them this October! So ready for this concert. I have study 'Nick Carter movement' during the concert. So I hope I got the best spot to see him. 

Well, wish me luck. 

Bonus: here one the video that I've watched..



Tuesday, November 20, 2018

Sharing Seminar Parenting (part 3)

Hari ini alhamdulillah berkesempatan lagi ikutan seminar parenting-nya Ibu Elly Risman. Alhamdulillah gratisan lagi *mamakgobermodeON*, kali ini dalam rangka Maulid Fest-nya kantor H, jadi bisa datang berdua sama pasangan. Ahiiiw..

Judul seminar kali ini adalah "Tantangan Orang Tua Zaman Now". Bu Elly Risman membuka seminar kali ini dengan hasil kuisioner yang sudah dari beberapa hari kemarin dibagikan ke peserta, dari sekitar 150 orang, yang mengisi hanya 52 orang (termasuk gw). Kuisionernya sendiri tentang pemakaian gadget pada anak. Dan sudah bisa ditebak ya, kebanyakan dari orang tua sudah mengijikan anaknya main gadget di usia balita. Bahkan memberikan handphone sendiri di usia SD. Alasannya beragam tapi yang paling banyak adalah supaya anak anteng dan orang tua bisa menghubungi anaknya lewat HP. Bu Elly Risman dari dulu memang paling keras soal ini, karena tanpa pengawasan, anak-anak bisa kecanduan dan terpapar pornografi. Serem yak? *tutupmuka*

Sebelum lanjut ke sana, Bu Elly memperkenalkan 7 Pilar Pengasuhan, yaitu:
  1. Kesiapan Menjadi Orang Tua
  2. Keterlibatan Ayah Dalam Pengasuhan
  3. Tetapkan Tujuan Pengasuhan dan Sepakati
  4. Komunikasi yang Benar, Baik dan Menyenangkan
  5. Orang Tua Yang Menanamkan Nilai Agama
  6. Menyiapkan Masa Baligh
  7. Bijak Memanfaatkan Teknologi


Pilar 1: Kesiapan Menjadi Orang Tua

1. Kenali Pasangan Lebih Jauh

Ada baiknya sebelum menikah, memilih pasangan dengan mengetahui bagaimana dia dibesarkan, apakah dia dari keluarga utuh atau tidak (misalnya orang tuanya cerai), adakah kekerasan dalam keluarganya, dan “ransel” apa yang dibawa. Penting mengetahui itu semua karena akan berpengaruh pada kondisi emosional dalam pengasuhan.

Oia, kesepakatan berapa jumlah anak juga penting. Lagi-lagi karena erat kaitannya dengan kondisi emosional, terutama sang ibu.

“Ransel” yang kita bawa masing-masing harus dikenali, karena pengaruh banget dalam pengasuhan. Sebagai latihan tadi Bu Elly menugaskan untuk masing-masing menulis “ransel” masing-masing. Masalah apa saja yang ada di dalam diri kita, bagaimana itu terjadi, kapan itu terjadi, dan bagaimana perasaan kita tentang masalah tersebut. Lalu bahas dengan pasangan (di luar seminar aja sih, yang penting nulis dulu agar kita kenal dengan diri sendiri).

2. Selesaikan Inner Child yang mempengaruhi seluruh peran dan cara mengasuh anak

Inner child itu anak kecil yang terperangkap dalam tubuh dewasa. Secara tidak sadar, cara kita membesarkan anak kita sama dengan bagaimana orang tua kita membesarkan kita. Kalau dulu orang tua kita dikit-dikit ngomel sama kita karena hal kecil, maka secara tidak sadar kita juga akan berperilaku seperti itu kepada anak kita. Ini yang harus diputuskan. Saat inner child muncul, seperti anak kecil sedang mengasuh anak kecil. Maka yang harus dilakukan pertama kali adalah berdamailah dengan masa lalu. Maafkan lah orang tua kita. Jangan dendam. Lalukan hand cataleptic: tangan kita seolah mengambil masalah dari tubuh dan membuangnya. Lakukan berulang-ulang sampai terasa ringan.

Segera ubah pengasuhan anak sebelum anak kita baligh.
Bayar hutang dengan anak dengan cara dicicil.

3. Pahami cara kerja otak yang berbeda antara laki-laki dan perempuan (alhamdulillah kemarin sudah dapat ilmunya di sini)

4. Perbaiki peran dan tanggung jawab suami istri à menjadi orang tua itu harus menyenangkan, dalam pengasuhan ingat BMM: berpikir, memilih, dan mengambil keputusan. Jangan pakai emosi.

5. Penuhi peran ayah dan ibu

Pilar 2: Keterlibatan Ayah Dalam Pengasuhan

Kedua orang tua harus terlibat dalam pengasuhan. Indonesia termasuk negara yang fatherless. Padahal Ayah berperan sangat penting dalam pengasuhan.

Keuntungan jadi ayah yang terlibat dalam pengasuhan, menurut  Ellison, C., Coltraine, St. Aubin:
  • Dapat membina relasi
  • Lebih efisien
  • Lebih mampu memperhatikan hal-hal yang detail
  • Lebih fokus
  • Lebih cerdas
  • Lebih waspada
  • Penuh perhatian
  • Lebih sabar
  • Tidak terlalu gelisah
  • Lebih penolog
  • Lebih alim
Rata-rata, anak-anak hanya punya waktu kurang dari 1 jam setiap hari untuk kontak dengan ayahnya.
Apa akibatnya? Fatherless syndrome, temper tantrum, kehilangan rasa aman, fisik/emosi/psikologis buruk,  agresif, rentan peer preasure, cenderung suka sejenis, broken home (rentan cerai/bunuh diri).

Dalam pengasuhan ayah dan ibu harus menyadari pentingnya peran kedua orang tua, harus ada kesepakatan, harus ada pembagian tugas, dan ayah harus terlibat dalam pengasuhan sehari-hari.

Pembagian tugas Ayah dan Ibu, misalnya:
Ayah à manner, sosial, emosi, iman & islam, hapalan surat

Ibu à akademis, tanggung jawab sehari-hari, menerapkan quran dalam sehari-hari

Anak laki-laki usia 7 tahun harus dekat dengan ayahnya. Begitu juga dengan anak perempuan usia 7 tahun yang harus dekat dengan ibunya. Kenapa? Supaya anak laki-laki tumbuh menjadi pria dan anak perempuan tumbuh menjadi wanita. Karena belakangnya ini banyak anak laki-laki yang tumbuh seperti wanita (juga kebalikannya).

Kurangnya peran ayah:
Untuk anak laki-laki à nakal (bisa jadi korban atau pelaku bully), agresif, narkoba, dan seks bebas
Untuk anak perempuan à depresi dan seks bebas

Kewajiban ayah:
1. Menentukan Penanggung Jawab pengasuhan anak di tangan siapa
2. Menyediakan: keuangan, makanan & pakaian, serta rumah & isinya dari sumber yang halal.
3. Menyediakan pendidkan, pelatihan, dan pemantauan
4. Menyediakan perawatan diri, harta, dan benda.
5. Ayah harus: berdialog dengan anak!

Hak ayah:
Dicintai, dihargai, dihormati, diperdulikan, dan dipercaya.

Kewajiban ibu: menyusukan anak sampai 2 tahun. Otak dan tubuh ibu membutuhka, waktu 2 tahun untuk pulih dari kerusakan saat hamil dan melahirkan. Anak yang terlalu cepat disapih akan lebih rentan mengalami kecemasan.

Ibu boleh bekerja di luar, tapi saat bekerja harus punya support system yang baik. Contoh Jane Lubchenco yang bergantian mengurus anak dengan suaminya, atau Sally Conway yang mulai kembali bekerja saat anak bungsu berusia 8 tahun (usia dimana anak bisa ditinggal).

Pilar 3: Tetapkan Tujuan Pengasuhan dan Sepakati

Tujuan pengasuhan yang jelas:
1. Hamba Allah yang taqwa, berakhlak mulia, ibadah sempurna
2. Calon istri/suami
3. Calon ayah/ibu
4. Profesional/enterpreneur
5. Pendidik istri, anak, dan keluarga
6. Penanggung jawab keluarga
7. Bermanfaat bagi orang banyak
Catatan: untuk anak perempuan boleh sampai no. 4 saja, tapi untuk anak laki-laki harus sampai no. 7

Pilar 4: Komunikasi yang Benar, Baik dan Menyenangkan

Kekeliruan dalam berkomunikasi:
1. Bicara tergesa-gesa
2. Tidak kenal diri sendiri
3. Lupa: setiap individu UNIK
4. Kebutuhan dan kemauan BERBEDA
5. Tidak membawa bahasa tubuh
6. Tidak mendengar perasaan
7. Kurang mendengar aktif
8. Bicara menggunakan “12 gaya populer”, yaitu: memerintah, menyalahkan, meremehkan, membandingkan, mencap/melabeli, mengancam, menasehati, membohongi, menghibur, mengeritik, menyindir, dan menganalisa.

Jadi saat berbicara dengan anak: tebak perasaan anak, dan alirkan emosinya.

Anak yang terlalu sering dimarahi/dikritik kantong jiwanya akan kempot, yang mengakibatkan anak tidak punya percaya diri, harga diri, dan konsep diri sehingga hal-hal negatif mudah masuk ke dalam anak.

Dalam komunikasi 55% adalan bahasa tubuh, nada suara 38%, dan kata-kata hanya 7%.

Kiat memperbaiki komunikasi dengan anak:
1. Turunkan frekuensi
2. Baca bahasa tubuh
3. Dengarkan perasaan
4. Hindari menggunakan 12 gaya populer

Bicara: Benar, Baik, dan Menyenangkan

Pilar 5: Orang Tua Yang Menanamkan Nilai Agama

Target pendidikan anak ada pada QS 33:35
“Sesungguhnya laki-laki dan perempuan yang muslim, laki-laki dan perempuan yang mu’min, laki-laki dan perempuan yang tetap dalam keta’atannya, laki-laki dan perempuan yang benar, laki-laki dan perempuan yang sabar, laki-laki dan perempuan yang khusyu’, laki-laki dan perempuan yang bersedekah, laki-laki dan perempuan yang berpuasa, laki-laki dan perempuan yang memelihara kehormatannya, laki-laki dan perempuan yang banyak menyebut (nama) Allah, Allah telah menyediakan untuk mereka ampunan dan pahala yang besar.”

Siapa yang mendidik soal agama? AYAH. Ibu berperan menutup atau melengkapi kekurangan ayah. Rubah paradigma dalam mendidik agama: bukan bisa tapi SUKA. Agar anak tidak merasa terbebani dalam belajar agama. Pijakannya: tanggung jawab orang tua akan membentuk dan meninggalkan kenangan, sehingga anak akan paham, tidak terbebani, tidak menolak. Anak akan lebih bahagia.

Jangan serahkan pendidikan agama anak hanya pada sekolah-sekolah IT atau pesantren. Belajar agama harus dimulai dari ayah dan ibu terlebih dahulu. Hal yang sederhana saja dulu: sholat berjamaah di rumah dan ajak anak laki-laki sholat jumat di mesjid.

Pilar 6: Menyiapkan Masa Baligh

Dimulai dari: kesadaran dan kesepakatan bahwa anak adalah amanah Allah.

Sadar akan tanggung jawab pada Allah, gentingnya masalah karena isyu yang berkembang (terutama LGBT), dan anak perlu pendampingan melewati pubertas).

Sepakat: orang tua harus punya concern, commitment, dan continuity. Sediakan waktu dan tenaga.
Harus dibedakan seks dan seksualitas. Seks adalah alat kelamin dan masalah seputarnya, sementara seksualitas adalah all aspects of individuality. Seksualitas ini lah yang menjadi tanggung jawab orang tuanya. Jika tidak sanggup, libatkan juga orang-orang sekitar.

Prinsip dasar mengasuh seksualitas:
  • Orang tua pendidik utama & pertama seksualitas anak à konsekuen dan respect
  • Landasan: agama
  • Keluar dari tabu dan saru
  • Tingkatkan pengetahuan dan keterampilan

Bagaimana mempersiapkannya? Masing-masing orang tua buat daftar, kira-kira apa saja yang perlu dibicarakan. Persiapkan materi sesuai umur masing-masing anak. Bagi tugas, tidak hanya ayah dan ibu, boleh juga dengan orang-orang sekitarnya.

Contoh tabelnya:
No.
Kegiatan
Mentor
Batas Waktu
1
Penjelasan dampak (+) dan (-) gadget
Ibu, ayah
Februari
2
Persiapan baligh
Ayah
April
3
Pornografi, selfie, pacaran
Ibu, mbak
Mei
4
Konsekuensi menjadi orang dewasa
Ayah, ibu
Juni

Yang perlu diperhatikan dalam berbicara dengan anak:
  • Berlatih berbicara
  • Gunakan istilah Al quran
  • Miliki “the courage to be imperfect”. Jangan jaim!
  • Harus konsisten (yang perlu dinegosiasi mana, yang tidak bisa dinegosiasi yang mana)


Pilar 7: Bijak Memanfaatkan Teknologi

1. Jangan latah dan jangan mau didikte anak – orang tua harus punya prinsip!
2. Buat aturan & kesepakatan, jangan lupa harus dikontrol, didampingi, dan dibimbing,
3. Jadilah teladan
4. Dialog dengan anak secara berkala
5. Kendalikan à oleh ayah
6. Buat list mengenai masalah anak à didiskusikan dalam rapat keluarga berkala
7. Perbaiki komunikasi
8. Bicara dengan anak mengenai masalah yang dihadapi à bisa dalam rapat keluarga atau berdua saja dengan anak
9. Sampaikan tentang tujuan pebisnis pornografi dan anak mana yang menjadi target
10. Buat aturan & kesepakatan baru, pendampingan, evaluasi, dan kesepakatan baru lagi. Lalu terapkan.

-----------------------

Sekian. Panjang juga ya ternyata. Di kenyataan pun tadi molor sejam. Yang kali ini lumayan masuk sih, jadi pengen diskusi panjang sama H. PR buat kami berdua dari bu Elly: bahas ransel masing-masing lalu tentukan tujuan pengasuhan. Semangat!

Sunday, November 18, 2018

Mencari Sekolah untuk J#1

Walau pun sekarang TK-nya J#1 ada SD-nya, tetep aja mamaknya gatel pengen survey. Penasaran sama harga dan fasilitas di sekolah lain. Ada sedikit rasa takut kalau sekolah yang sekarang adalah karena keinginan gw, bukan J#1. Memang sih, waktu survey TK dulu sama J#1 dan dia milih sekolah ini karena ada mainan dinosaurs. Sudah 1,5 tahun disini, koq rasanya ada yang ngeganjel gitu. Apalagi di semester 2 tahun ajaran kemarin J#1 sempet mogok hampir 1 semester. Sakit hati gw lihat anak mogok gitu. Langsung merasa bersalah. Langsung takut apa kah karena sekolahnya ga cocok? Atau gw salah penanganan ke anak yang lagi mogok? Atau apa ya? Pengen sih konsul psikolog, tapi H tidak mengijinkan. Katanya ngapain, belum perlu lah. Huks. Andai punya duit sendiri pasti udah langsung konsul psikolog. Apa daya, udah resign jadi ekonomi pun tergantung pada suami. *tutupmuka*

Sempet nanya pas ada kulwap parenting gratisan. Kata psikolognya, mending di assessment dulu, jangan buru-buru pindah sekolah, mana tau hasilnya sama aja. Klo di-assessment dulu jadi tau kan tipe anak seperti apa, tipe skolah yang cocok untuk anak kaya apa. Tapi berhubung sama H ga boleh konsul psikolog, yaudah gw analisis sendiri aja.

Menurut hasil analisis sotoy gw sih ada dua kemungkinan. Yang pertama anak ini panasnya lama. Makin kesini sekolahnya suka telat, tiap masuk kelas pasti disambut sama temen-temennya. Nah anak ini dari bayik ga suka banget perlakuan kaya gitu. Jalan satu-satunya ya harus ke sekolah lebih awal. Kemungkinan kedua, hapalan surat dan baca iqro. Kalau semester awal dia masih semangat, hapalan surat masih lancar, iqro juga lancar. Masuk semester kedua mulai ga mau sama sekali. Sholat juga jadi ga mau. Berdoa aja sama sekali ga mau. Kalau gw baca doa atau baca surat dia langsung tutup telinga. Huks sedih deh. Nah analisis kedua ini gimana penanganannya ya?

Untuk analisis pertama, setelah dicoba masuk lebih awal memang berhasil, dia semangat banget ke sekolahnya. Tapi untuk analisis kedua belom berhasil banget sih. Kemarin sempet dicoba pake hadiah mainan. Mayan bisa untuk baca iqro. Baca doa udah mulai mau. Hapalan surat yang menyerah, dan sholat juga susah. Sampai sini gw bingung dah gimana caranya. Apa iya sekolahnya terlalu berat untuk urusan agama? Gw jadi khawatir nanti pas SD gimana, mana syarat lulus SD-nya khatam quran sampai 3x. Mungkin dia cocoknya sekolah yang santai?

Makanya, gw memutuskan untuk coba survey sekolahan lagi. Udah ada beberapa SD inceran sih. Pengennya survey sama J#1 dan H, tapi nampak ga mungkin. J#1 kan sekolah, H jauh, masa disuruh bolos? :/ Yaudh paling gw sendirian, eeh ditemenin J#2 deng :P