Sunday, June 08, 2025

Super Junior Chapter 2: The Bias

You know how everyone says you need to pick a bias when you start getting into a K-pop group? Well… that didn’t come easy for me. When it comes to Super Junior, most people who knew my fangirl journey would probably assume that Siwon is my bias.

Sure, he was one of the reasons I got curious about Super Junior in the first place. And yes, my heart did flutter just a little when I first saw him on Running Man. But nope, he’s not my bias.

Let’s rewind a bit to my variety show journey with Super Junior. If you've read my previous post about how I discovered Super Junior, you’ll know it all started with my ultimate weekly mood booster: Running Man. I first saw Heechul in episode 20, then Siwon in episode 22.  And outside of Running Man, Siwon was also on Infinite Challenge for a few episodes during their Sixth Man - Secret Member, audition for new member arc. But surprisingly, none of that made Siwon my bias.

My Running Man encounters with Super Junior didn’t end there, Siwon actually appeared a few more times after that, including that unforgettable episode with Jackie Chan! Then came Eunhyuk, Shindong, Heechul (again!), Kyuhyun, Leeteuk, Ryeowook… even Henry popped in.

It was actually Running Man episode 275, the Rival special, that made me choose them. Yes, them. I actually have two biases in Super Junior. Okay, the Rival episode. Super Junior Leeteuk and Heechul were invited as guests that week, introduced as a pair of so-called rivals. But yeah, they made it clear they didn’t agree with that label. They said they were just total opposites, that they didn’t suit each other at all. 

And throughout the episode, I just couldn’t resist the charm of Kim Heechul — unpredictable, hilarious, completely chaotic. But at the same time, Leeteuk kept stealing my attention in the most unexpected ways. And just like that, I fell for their variety show charm. Hard.

I was actually rooting for Leeteuk in this episode. 
Because, you know, I'm team Kim Jongkook XD

When the day finally came that I realized I had fallen for Super Junior as a whole, I could confidently say: Leeteuk and Heechul were my biases. But before I let myself get too deep, you know what I was going to do, right? Hint: the Nick Carter Method. Yup, I checked their age! It was important. Always pick the one closest to your age. LOL. And guess what? They were born the same year as me. And just that, they were officially my biases.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Siwon still holds a special place in my heart. He was the gateway, after all. The first spark. But for me, Siwon feels more like that annoying little brother who keeps insisting, "Noona, meet my friends. They’re cool, I swear." 😆

And guess what? He was right. His chaotic, charming, unpredictable hyungs ended up becoming the ones I couldn’t stop thinking about. So in the end, I got myself two biases: one troublemaker and one leader. Plus a persistent little brother who just won’t stop tagging along. 😌

Image source: https://chinese.joins.com/news/articleView.html?idxno=17682

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I love you. Eotteon mallo da pyohyeon motae. I love you. Ijen naegen neoman isseumyeon dwae. Say I do, saranghae, only you. | I love you. I can’t express it all with words. I love you. Now I only need you Say I do, I love you, only you. [Sarang❤ (sung by Leeteuk & Heechul) - Super Junior]

Sunday, June 01, 2025

Super Junior, Always There

Nowadays, whenever my feelings are all over the place, I open Spotify, play a Super Junior song, and just like that, my heart calms down. Yes, you read that right. Not BTS. Not even my first love, the Backstreet Boys. But somehow, it’s Super Junior who’s become my unexpected comfort zone. Even I’m surprised. 😅 

Super Junior was nothing new to me. Throwback to 2012, I saw Heechul and Siwon on Running Man. Their personalities caught my attention, and I got curious. That curiosity led me to discover Super Junior. But honestly, their music didn’t quite match my taste back then. Still, Heechul and Siwon on variety shows? I was hooked!

Running Man episode 20. (Heechul was on 11:54)

Running Man episode 22. 

Years later, in 2015, I saw Siwon again in Infinite Challenge, and I instantly fell for his variety show's charm. He was hilarious and genuine. Although the cast eventually chose Kwanghee for the show, Siwon left a strong impression on me.

Infinite Challenge episode 422. 

Then came another big chapter in my life. In late 2017, things started to feel overwhelming. Running Man could no longer fulfill my weekly dose of happiness. Even binge-watching Song Joong Ki dramas couldn’t excite me anymore. I began searching for other shows, and that’s when Super Junior came back into my life. I happened to stumble upon an episode of Weekly Idol and Super Junior were the guests. Siwon wasn’t there, but I recognized some of the other guys. And as I watched that one episode, I fell for their chaos. They were like… how do I even explain it? Like one of those wild, unruly high school classes. Even Great Teacher Onizuka would give up on.

Weekly Idol episode 328. 

And so, they began to fill my days through SJ Returns, Super TV, or even just popping up as guests on random South Korean variety shows I happened to watch. It wasn’t exactly my daily dose of happiness, but it was enough to lift my mood when I needed it. But still, since I didn’t really like their music back in 2012, I had no interest in giving it another try. Sorry. Really.
Then came late 2018, when I started getting into BTS. And the first thing I noticed? They were waaay younger than me. Yeah, I thought, there’s no way I’m going to stan a group that’s not even close to my age. That’s when I started thinking about Super Junior again. So, I gave their music another shot—and that’s when I stumbled upon No Other. I fell in love with it from the very first note. That song instantly became one of the few K-pop tracks on my iPod. 

No Other was on my iPod playlist in 2018.

From there, I started listening to more of their songs. And to my surprise, they had a lot of music I actually liked. One that really stood out was Superman. I remember listening to it for the first time and instantly thinking that this song would be incredible to see performed live. Just imagining the energy on stage gave me chills. That moment made me even more curious about how powerful their performances must be. I even planned to attend their concert in my country back in 2019... but sadly, I couldn’t get a ticket. Well, at least not the cheapest one. Still, I was all in and ready to give them my heart. I even had a bias already. (Well, take a wild guess. LOL.)

But then something happened. YouTube started recommending me BTS variety shows. And that was it. I couldn’t stop watching. Within just a few weeks, I had become a full-on, die-hard fan. But even during my baby ARMY phase, I still watched Super Junior’s variety shows. I still searched for them whenever they appeared on any program. I even watched their online concert during the pandemic. Their album Timeless, which came out during that time, became one of my favorites. They were still in my life… just quietly, in the background.

And then in 2024, maybe their time finally came. They came to my country again in 2024. This time, I had to see them live. And guess what? I got the ticket. And that… changed everything. Literally everything.

Took a pic with "Siwon".

You know, imagine having a friend for years… and then one day, you suddenly realize you’ve been in love with them all along? That’s exactly what happened when I saw them on stage. That night, I finally realized what had been missing all this time.

And what happened after the concert was beyond my imagination. I couldn’t stop listening to their songs. Every time my bias went live on Instagram or YouTube, I had to watch. At first, I thought it was just post-concert depression. But it wasn’t. Because it keeps happening. Even now.

So yeah, Super Junior wasn’t something entirely new to me. They were always around, orbiting the edge of my life. But when life got tough, they came back. And this time, they stayed. They didn’t just entertain me. They comforted me. They became my safe space, my escape, my emotional support group wrapped in variety show madness.

So not just BTS. Not just the Backstreet Boys. But also Super Junior, the loud, hilarious, chaotic group I never expected to love this much. Somehow, all three became home to me in their own way. Different eras, different moods… but always there when I needed them most. 

And maybe that’s the truth of it all: it wasn’t me chasing them. It was them. They were the ones quietly and consistently pulling me in.

Anyway, let’s save the talk about my bias for the next post. This one’s already way longer than I intended. Guess I got a bit carried away. Too much drama, I know. Just like Super Junior themselves. LOL.

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Neo gateun saram ddo eobseo. Juwireul dulreobwado geujeo geureohdeon geol. Eodiseo chatni neogatchi joheun saram. Neogatchi joheun saram. Neogatchi joheun maeum. Neogatchi joheun seonmul. | There is no one else like you. Even if I look around, it's just like that. Where do I find a good person like you? A good person like you. A good heart like you. A good gift like you. [No Other - Super Junior]

Thursday, May 13, 2021

Love Bangtan 💜

This story is dedicated to a group of people that makes me fall in love again and again. Yes, it is Bangtan Sonyeondan or Bangtan Boys or just BTS.

So, how did it all begin?

So it was on May 2016, I was watching Running Man episode 300. A Monday ritual of mine since 2012. That episode had a bunch of guests, including this boyband called BTS. I knew that their leader, RM, had appeared on the show before with Super Junior Kyuhyun, somewhere in 2015. All I know that he was very smart, with an IQ 180. So back with Running Man episode 300. They didn't leave a big impression to me, I thought that they were just another boyband. But two things did stick in my head: the names, Jin and Jungkook. Why? Because Running already had Seokjin (the oldest member) and Jongkook (my favorite). I even joked to mysef that this boyband was just borrowing names from Running Man. A few episodes later, the Running Man members were still teasing about Seokjin was getting closer to Jin. So, for the next years, BTS was just "that boyband with familiar names." At least for me.

Then in May 2018, I saw Backstreet Boys posted a photo with BTS. They met at the American Music Awards (AMA), where BSB performed Don't Go Breaking My Heart while BTS performed Fake Love. I watched both performing that day, and honestly? BTS was mesmerizing!

Then things got messy. On Twitter, some BTS ARMY started attacking BSB fans because we also used the term ARMY for BSB fans. They said ARMY belongs to BTS fans only. EXCUSE ME? I believe some of them weren't even born when BSB debuted. I was furious. I swore I'd never become one of them. 🙄

https://twitter.com/backstreetboys/status/997966339141586949?s=20

But life had other plans. In 2019, BSB and BTS met again at the Grammys. I tuned in for BSB only. But ended up seeing BTS presented Best R&B Album. I saw them on stage. RM spoke. Hey, his english was good, I thought. I was curious at that time and started to search about them on YouTube. Yeah, my source of information is YouTube. LOL. I saw their video performances and their speech on UN. RM's speech that time was very very inspiring. I wasn't a fan but I don't know why I was really proud of him. 

No matter who you are, where you're from, your skin color, your gender identity, just speak yourself. Find your name and find your voice by speaking yourself." - Kim Namjoon

A few months later, BTS were mentioned again on Running Man episode 447. This time, the members need to dance one of the BTS's song: Idol. The dance looked so hard. So I got curious and looked up for Idol on Youtube. Amd that was it. I just couldn't stop. Idol. Fire. Spring Day. Mikrokosmos. Their songs was suddenly on top my playlist. 

I just couldn't stop myself watch their random clips on YouTube. Then one day YouTube recommended Dionysus. That was my official point of no return. Their performance. The energy. The artistry. I was DONE. 

But still, I was in denial. I mean, how could I become a fan of group that 10 years younger than me? Well, age is important, isn't it? 😂 

Then, I stumbled upon an episode of Run BTS. The universe must have known exactly how to make me fall hard for them. From one episode to the next, these guys captured my heart with their chaotic personalities, genuine humor, and the way they support each other. They weren’t just idols anymore; they felt like people I wanted to root for. 

My bias? LOL. Do you know how I picked Nick as my favorite? Well, it was because he seemed around my age. And that’s pretty much how I picked my BTS bias too. I looked up their birth years, and Jin, being the oldest, instantly became my bias. Yeah, just like that. 😂

It might have been the right decision. The more I watched Run BTS, BTS Episodes, and also Bon Voyage, the more I fell for this boy. His laugh, the way he talks, his little quirks… I just love everything about him. 

Then the pandemic came. BTS content filled my days like I was making up for all the time I hadn’t spent with them before. Suddenly, their music, videos, and shows were everywhere in my daily life, bringing comfort and joy when the world felt uncertain. I even watched their online concert. I was falling so hard. Really.

And just like how I collected BSB merch back in the day, I wanted to do the same with BTS. I started buying their albums and merch. As per now, I almost done collecting their albums. Just a few old albums left. Call me crazy, and yeah, maybe I am. (Edit in 2025. I’ve learned to contain myself now. Just buying an album, not the whole set. And only merch you can actually wear, not those ridiculous things you can’t even use.)

So yeah, And so, I entered the Magic Shop door and never returns. BTS came into my life unexpectedly. Like it was finally time for a new group to steal my heart. Maybe because they’re the first K-pop group I’ve truly stanned this hard, I became fascinated by everything. I fell in love with their stage performances. The energy, the synchronization, the passion. I adore their concepts; the team behind them must be geniuses. And the choreography? I still can’t get over how seven people can move in perfect harmony while still showing their unique styles.

But what struck me the most was how loved I felt as a fan. I’ve never experienced this before, but with BTS, I could actually feel their love in return. For the first time in all my years of fangirling, my feelings didn’t feel one-sided.

Someday, who knows, I might be waving my own amibam in a sea of purple ocean. Whether I ever get there or not, BTS already did their magic. They stole my heart, wrecked my bias list (more than once!), and made me feel seen. Not bad for a group I once thought was just another boyband. 😆

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Chuun gyeoul kkeuteul jina. Dasi bomnari ol ttaekkaji. Kkot piul ttaekkaji. Geugose jom deo. Meomulleojwo. Meomulleojwo. | After the cold winter ends. Until spring comes again. Until it blooms. Stay there a little longer, stay there a little longer. [Spring Day - BTS]


Sunday, May 19, 2019

BSB is in my DNA

Backstreet Boys are coming to Indonesia! O! M! G!

Yes, we're going to have the #DNAWorldTour here in Jakarta, Indonesia on Oct 26th. I got my ticket through the fan club pre-sale. And guess what, I got myself in the fan zone (DNA circle for the US/Europe show). I'm sooo excited! But after watching the first show, I'm worried if I'm going to see their back all the time and wanted to change the ticket to festival, which is in front of the stage so I could have the best view. But the more I watched the video, I think I'm gonna stick with what I have. From what I saw, fan zone/DNA Circle has the best experience ever. It has plenty of space so it's not crowded, and you can see them really close!

I can't wait to see them this October! So ready for this concert. I have study 'Nick Carter movement' during the concert. So I hope I got the best spot to see him. 

Well, wish me luck. 

Bonus: here one the video that I've watched..



Tuesday, November 20, 2018

Sharing Seminar Parenting (part 3)

Hari ini alhamdulillah berkesempatan lagi ikutan seminar parenting-nya Ibu Elly Risman. Alhamdulillah gratisan lagi *mamakgobermodeON*, kali ini dalam rangka Maulid Fest-nya kantor H, jadi bisa datang berdua sama pasangan. Ahiiiw..

Judul seminar kali ini adalah "Tantangan Orang Tua Zaman Now". Bu Elly Risman membuka seminar kali ini dengan hasil kuisioner yang sudah dari beberapa hari kemarin dibagikan ke peserta, dari sekitar 150 orang, yang mengisi hanya 52 orang (termasuk gw). Kuisionernya sendiri tentang pemakaian gadget pada anak. Dan sudah bisa ditebak ya, kebanyakan dari orang tua sudah mengijikan anaknya main gadget di usia balita. Bahkan memberikan handphone sendiri di usia SD. Alasannya beragam tapi yang paling banyak adalah supaya anak anteng dan orang tua bisa menghubungi anaknya lewat HP. Bu Elly Risman dari dulu memang paling keras soal ini, karena tanpa pengawasan, anak-anak bisa kecanduan dan terpapar pornografi. Serem yak? *tutupmuka*

Sebelum lanjut ke sana, Bu Elly memperkenalkan 7 Pilar Pengasuhan, yaitu:
  1. Kesiapan Menjadi Orang Tua
  2. Keterlibatan Ayah Dalam Pengasuhan
  3. Tetapkan Tujuan Pengasuhan dan Sepakati
  4. Komunikasi yang Benar, Baik dan Menyenangkan
  5. Orang Tua Yang Menanamkan Nilai Agama
  6. Menyiapkan Masa Baligh
  7. Bijak Memanfaatkan Teknologi


Pilar 1: Kesiapan Menjadi Orang Tua

1. Kenali Pasangan Lebih Jauh

Ada baiknya sebelum menikah, memilih pasangan dengan mengetahui bagaimana dia dibesarkan, apakah dia dari keluarga utuh atau tidak (misalnya orang tuanya cerai), adakah kekerasan dalam keluarganya, dan “ransel” apa yang dibawa. Penting mengetahui itu semua karena akan berpengaruh pada kondisi emosional dalam pengasuhan.

Oia, kesepakatan berapa jumlah anak juga penting. Lagi-lagi karena erat kaitannya dengan kondisi emosional, terutama sang ibu.

“Ransel” yang kita bawa masing-masing harus dikenali, karena pengaruh banget dalam pengasuhan. Sebagai latihan tadi Bu Elly menugaskan untuk masing-masing menulis “ransel” masing-masing. Masalah apa saja yang ada di dalam diri kita, bagaimana itu terjadi, kapan itu terjadi, dan bagaimana perasaan kita tentang masalah tersebut. Lalu bahas dengan pasangan (di luar seminar aja sih, yang penting nulis dulu agar kita kenal dengan diri sendiri).

2. Selesaikan Inner Child yang mempengaruhi seluruh peran dan cara mengasuh anak

Inner child itu anak kecil yang terperangkap dalam tubuh dewasa. Secara tidak sadar, cara kita membesarkan anak kita sama dengan bagaimana orang tua kita membesarkan kita. Kalau dulu orang tua kita dikit-dikit ngomel sama kita karena hal kecil, maka secara tidak sadar kita juga akan berperilaku seperti itu kepada anak kita. Ini yang harus diputuskan. Saat inner child muncul, seperti anak kecil sedang mengasuh anak kecil. Maka yang harus dilakukan pertama kali adalah berdamailah dengan masa lalu. Maafkan lah orang tua kita. Jangan dendam. Lalukan hand cataleptic: tangan kita seolah mengambil masalah dari tubuh dan membuangnya. Lakukan berulang-ulang sampai terasa ringan.

Segera ubah pengasuhan anak sebelum anak kita baligh.
Bayar hutang dengan anak dengan cara dicicil.

3. Pahami cara kerja otak yang berbeda antara laki-laki dan perempuan (alhamdulillah kemarin sudah dapat ilmunya di sini)

4. Perbaiki peran dan tanggung jawab suami istri à menjadi orang tua itu harus menyenangkan, dalam pengasuhan ingat BMM: berpikir, memilih, dan mengambil keputusan. Jangan pakai emosi.

5. Penuhi peran ayah dan ibu

Pilar 2: Keterlibatan Ayah Dalam Pengasuhan

Kedua orang tua harus terlibat dalam pengasuhan. Indonesia termasuk negara yang fatherless. Padahal Ayah berperan sangat penting dalam pengasuhan.

Keuntungan jadi ayah yang terlibat dalam pengasuhan, menurut  Ellison, C., Coltraine, St. Aubin:
  • Dapat membina relasi
  • Lebih efisien
  • Lebih mampu memperhatikan hal-hal yang detail
  • Lebih fokus
  • Lebih cerdas
  • Lebih waspada
  • Penuh perhatian
  • Lebih sabar
  • Tidak terlalu gelisah
  • Lebih penolog
  • Lebih alim
Rata-rata, anak-anak hanya punya waktu kurang dari 1 jam setiap hari untuk kontak dengan ayahnya.
Apa akibatnya? Fatherless syndrome, temper tantrum, kehilangan rasa aman, fisik/emosi/psikologis buruk,  agresif, rentan peer preasure, cenderung suka sejenis, broken home (rentan cerai/bunuh diri).

Dalam pengasuhan ayah dan ibu harus menyadari pentingnya peran kedua orang tua, harus ada kesepakatan, harus ada pembagian tugas, dan ayah harus terlibat dalam pengasuhan sehari-hari.

Pembagian tugas Ayah dan Ibu, misalnya:
Ayah à manner, sosial, emosi, iman & islam, hapalan surat

Ibu à akademis, tanggung jawab sehari-hari, menerapkan quran dalam sehari-hari

Anak laki-laki usia 7 tahun harus dekat dengan ayahnya. Begitu juga dengan anak perempuan usia 7 tahun yang harus dekat dengan ibunya. Kenapa? Supaya anak laki-laki tumbuh menjadi pria dan anak perempuan tumbuh menjadi wanita. Karena belakangnya ini banyak anak laki-laki yang tumbuh seperti wanita (juga kebalikannya).

Kurangnya peran ayah:
Untuk anak laki-laki à nakal (bisa jadi korban atau pelaku bully), agresif, narkoba, dan seks bebas
Untuk anak perempuan à depresi dan seks bebas

Kewajiban ayah:
1. Menentukan Penanggung Jawab pengasuhan anak di tangan siapa
2. Menyediakan: keuangan, makanan & pakaian, serta rumah & isinya dari sumber yang halal.
3. Menyediakan pendidkan, pelatihan, dan pemantauan
4. Menyediakan perawatan diri, harta, dan benda.
5. Ayah harus: berdialog dengan anak!

Hak ayah:
Dicintai, dihargai, dihormati, diperdulikan, dan dipercaya.

Kewajiban ibu: menyusukan anak sampai 2 tahun. Otak dan tubuh ibu membutuhka, waktu 2 tahun untuk pulih dari kerusakan saat hamil dan melahirkan. Anak yang terlalu cepat disapih akan lebih rentan mengalami kecemasan.

Ibu boleh bekerja di luar, tapi saat bekerja harus punya support system yang baik. Contoh Jane Lubchenco yang bergantian mengurus anak dengan suaminya, atau Sally Conway yang mulai kembali bekerja saat anak bungsu berusia 8 tahun (usia dimana anak bisa ditinggal).

Pilar 3: Tetapkan Tujuan Pengasuhan dan Sepakati

Tujuan pengasuhan yang jelas:
1. Hamba Allah yang taqwa, berakhlak mulia, ibadah sempurna
2. Calon istri/suami
3. Calon ayah/ibu
4. Profesional/enterpreneur
5. Pendidik istri, anak, dan keluarga
6. Penanggung jawab keluarga
7. Bermanfaat bagi orang banyak
Catatan: untuk anak perempuan boleh sampai no. 4 saja, tapi untuk anak laki-laki harus sampai no. 7

Pilar 4: Komunikasi yang Benar, Baik dan Menyenangkan

Kekeliruan dalam berkomunikasi:
1. Bicara tergesa-gesa
2. Tidak kenal diri sendiri
3. Lupa: setiap individu UNIK
4. Kebutuhan dan kemauan BERBEDA
5. Tidak membawa bahasa tubuh
6. Tidak mendengar perasaan
7. Kurang mendengar aktif
8. Bicara menggunakan “12 gaya populer”, yaitu: memerintah, menyalahkan, meremehkan, membandingkan, mencap/melabeli, mengancam, menasehati, membohongi, menghibur, mengeritik, menyindir, dan menganalisa.

Jadi saat berbicara dengan anak: tebak perasaan anak, dan alirkan emosinya.

Anak yang terlalu sering dimarahi/dikritik kantong jiwanya akan kempot, yang mengakibatkan anak tidak punya percaya diri, harga diri, dan konsep diri sehingga hal-hal negatif mudah masuk ke dalam anak.

Dalam komunikasi 55% adalan bahasa tubuh, nada suara 38%, dan kata-kata hanya 7%.

Kiat memperbaiki komunikasi dengan anak:
1. Turunkan frekuensi
2. Baca bahasa tubuh
3. Dengarkan perasaan
4. Hindari menggunakan 12 gaya populer

Bicara: Benar, Baik, dan Menyenangkan

Pilar 5: Orang Tua Yang Menanamkan Nilai Agama

Target pendidikan anak ada pada QS 33:35
“Sesungguhnya laki-laki dan perempuan yang muslim, laki-laki dan perempuan yang mu’min, laki-laki dan perempuan yang tetap dalam keta’atannya, laki-laki dan perempuan yang benar, laki-laki dan perempuan yang sabar, laki-laki dan perempuan yang khusyu’, laki-laki dan perempuan yang bersedekah, laki-laki dan perempuan yang berpuasa, laki-laki dan perempuan yang memelihara kehormatannya, laki-laki dan perempuan yang banyak menyebut (nama) Allah, Allah telah menyediakan untuk mereka ampunan dan pahala yang besar.”

Siapa yang mendidik soal agama? AYAH. Ibu berperan menutup atau melengkapi kekurangan ayah. Rubah paradigma dalam mendidik agama: bukan bisa tapi SUKA. Agar anak tidak merasa terbebani dalam belajar agama. Pijakannya: tanggung jawab orang tua akan membentuk dan meninggalkan kenangan, sehingga anak akan paham, tidak terbebani, tidak menolak. Anak akan lebih bahagia.

Jangan serahkan pendidikan agama anak hanya pada sekolah-sekolah IT atau pesantren. Belajar agama harus dimulai dari ayah dan ibu terlebih dahulu. Hal yang sederhana saja dulu: sholat berjamaah di rumah dan ajak anak laki-laki sholat jumat di mesjid.

Pilar 6: Menyiapkan Masa Baligh

Dimulai dari: kesadaran dan kesepakatan bahwa anak adalah amanah Allah.

Sadar akan tanggung jawab pada Allah, gentingnya masalah karena isyu yang berkembang (terutama LGBT), dan anak perlu pendampingan melewati pubertas).

Sepakat: orang tua harus punya concern, commitment, dan continuity. Sediakan waktu dan tenaga.
Harus dibedakan seks dan seksualitas. Seks adalah alat kelamin dan masalah seputarnya, sementara seksualitas adalah all aspects of individuality. Seksualitas ini lah yang menjadi tanggung jawab orang tuanya. Jika tidak sanggup, libatkan juga orang-orang sekitar.

Prinsip dasar mengasuh seksualitas:
  • Orang tua pendidik utama & pertama seksualitas anak à konsekuen dan respect
  • Landasan: agama
  • Keluar dari tabu dan saru
  • Tingkatkan pengetahuan dan keterampilan

Bagaimana mempersiapkannya? Masing-masing orang tua buat daftar, kira-kira apa saja yang perlu dibicarakan. Persiapkan materi sesuai umur masing-masing anak. Bagi tugas, tidak hanya ayah dan ibu, boleh juga dengan orang-orang sekitarnya.

Contoh tabelnya:
No.
Kegiatan
Mentor
Batas Waktu
1
Penjelasan dampak (+) dan (-) gadget
Ibu, ayah
Februari
2
Persiapan baligh
Ayah
April
3
Pornografi, selfie, pacaran
Ibu, mbak
Mei
4
Konsekuensi menjadi orang dewasa
Ayah, ibu
Juni

Yang perlu diperhatikan dalam berbicara dengan anak:
  • Berlatih berbicara
  • Gunakan istilah Al quran
  • Miliki “the courage to be imperfect”. Jangan jaim!
  • Harus konsisten (yang perlu dinegosiasi mana, yang tidak bisa dinegosiasi yang mana)


Pilar 7: Bijak Memanfaatkan Teknologi

1. Jangan latah dan jangan mau didikte anak – orang tua harus punya prinsip!
2. Buat aturan & kesepakatan, jangan lupa harus dikontrol, didampingi, dan dibimbing,
3. Jadilah teladan
4. Dialog dengan anak secara berkala
5. Kendalikan à oleh ayah
6. Buat list mengenai masalah anak à didiskusikan dalam rapat keluarga berkala
7. Perbaiki komunikasi
8. Bicara dengan anak mengenai masalah yang dihadapi à bisa dalam rapat keluarga atau berdua saja dengan anak
9. Sampaikan tentang tujuan pebisnis pornografi dan anak mana yang menjadi target
10. Buat aturan & kesepakatan baru, pendampingan, evaluasi, dan kesepakatan baru lagi. Lalu terapkan.

-----------------------

Sekian. Panjang juga ya ternyata. Di kenyataan pun tadi molor sejam. Yang kali ini lumayan masuk sih, jadi pengen diskusi panjang sama H. PR buat kami berdua dari bu Elly: bahas ransel masing-masing lalu tentukan tujuan pengasuhan. Semangat!

Sunday, November 18, 2018

Mencari Sekolah untuk J#1

Walau pun sekarang TK-nya J#1 ada SD-nya, tetep aja mamaknya gatel pengen survey. Penasaran sama harga dan fasilitas di sekolah lain. Ada sedikit rasa takut kalau sekolah yang sekarang adalah karena keinginan gw, bukan J#1. Memang sih, waktu survey TK dulu sama J#1 dan dia milih sekolah ini karena ada mainan dinosaurs. Sudah 1,5 tahun disini, koq rasanya ada yang ngeganjel gitu. Apalagi di semester 2 tahun ajaran kemarin J#1 sempet mogok hampir 1 semester. Sakit hati gw lihat anak mogok gitu. Langsung merasa bersalah. Langsung takut apa kah karena sekolahnya ga cocok? Atau gw salah penanganan ke anak yang lagi mogok? Atau apa ya? Pengen sih konsul psikolog, tapi H tidak mengijinkan. Katanya ngapain, belum perlu lah. Huks. Andai punya duit sendiri pasti udah langsung konsul psikolog. Apa daya, udah resign jadi ekonomi pun tergantung pada suami. *tutupmuka*

Sempet nanya pas ada kulwap parenting gratisan. Kata psikolognya, mending di assessment dulu, jangan buru-buru pindah sekolah, mana tau hasilnya sama aja. Klo di-assessment dulu jadi tau kan tipe anak seperti apa, tipe skolah yang cocok untuk anak kaya apa. Tapi berhubung sama H ga boleh konsul psikolog, yaudah gw analisis sendiri aja.

Menurut hasil analisis sotoy gw sih ada dua kemungkinan. Yang pertama anak ini panasnya lama. Makin kesini sekolahnya suka telat, tiap masuk kelas pasti disambut sama temen-temennya. Nah anak ini dari bayik ga suka banget perlakuan kaya gitu. Jalan satu-satunya ya harus ke sekolah lebih awal. Kemungkinan kedua, hapalan surat dan baca iqro. Kalau semester awal dia masih semangat, hapalan surat masih lancar, iqro juga lancar. Masuk semester kedua mulai ga mau sama sekali. Sholat juga jadi ga mau. Berdoa aja sama sekali ga mau. Kalau gw baca doa atau baca surat dia langsung tutup telinga. Huks sedih deh. Nah analisis kedua ini gimana penanganannya ya?

Untuk analisis pertama, setelah dicoba masuk lebih awal memang berhasil, dia semangat banget ke sekolahnya. Tapi untuk analisis kedua belom berhasil banget sih. Kemarin sempet dicoba pake hadiah mainan. Mayan bisa untuk baca iqro. Baca doa udah mulai mau. Hapalan surat yang menyerah, dan sholat juga susah. Sampai sini gw bingung dah gimana caranya. Apa iya sekolahnya terlalu berat untuk urusan agama? Gw jadi khawatir nanti pas SD gimana, mana syarat lulus SD-nya khatam quran sampai 3x. Mungkin dia cocoknya sekolah yang santai?

Makanya, gw memutuskan untuk coba survey sekolahan lagi. Udah ada beberapa SD inceran sih. Pengennya survey sama J#1 dan H, tapi nampak ga mungkin. J#1 kan sekolah, H jauh, masa disuruh bolos? :/ Yaudh paling gw sendirian, eeh ditemenin J#2 deng :P

Friday, November 16, 2018

Backstreet Dads

Terharu banget ini sekarang Backstreet Boys semua udah punya anak. Dari mereka masih piyik (eh Nick doang sih yang piyik dulu :P), sampe sekarang udah jadi bapak-bapak, mereka masih beredar aja gitu. Sayah sebagai BSB-#1-fans sekecamatan Sukajadi merasa bangga karena ga salah pilih boyband idola. Dari gw SMP sama mamak-anak-dua masih bisa nikmati lagu barunya mereka.

Ga mau panjang lebar, gw cuma mau nyimpen artikel di mari. Abisnya emessssh! This is too adorable! Lihat mereka foto sama anaknya masing-masing. Eeeh kecuali Brian deng. Anaknya Brian, Baylee, kata lagi sibuk makanya ga ikut foto. Padahal menurut analisis sotoy gw Baylee emang ga mau ikutan soalnya dia merasa gede sendiri, ahahahah.. Lha iya, Brian nikah muda siiih.. Anaknya udah 16 taun sekarang, sementara yang laen masih masih usia SD dan bayik. Jadi kalau mau diurut dari yang paling tua: Baylee Littrel (2002), Mason Richardson (2007), James Dorough (2009), Ava Mclean (2012), Holden Dorough (2013), Maxwell Richardson (2013), Odin Carter (2016), dan terakhir Lyric Mclean (2017).

Yaudah dibaca aja artikelnya, dan sila ditonton videonya juga..

Emeshhh kan liatnyaaa.. :p (Sumber foto dari pinterest)
Btw, they should change their group name to Backstreet Dads 😁😁😁